Post by clara oswald on Aug 4, 2020 2:21:39 GMT
"run, you clever boy, and remember."
✧ THE BASICS,
ALIASES. Oswin -- Oswald for the Win. The kids at school sometimes call me "Ozzie". The Doctor likes to call me the "Impossible Girl" or "Souffle Girl", and sometimes I pretend I'm him, and call myself "the Doctor." It's this thing we do. But, you can just call me Clara.
AGE. I first met the Doctor when I was 24, but I lived until I was 31. Then I was 31 forever... sort of. It's hard to explain.
SPECIES. Beautifully Human. Or, at least, I'd like to think I'm human. Don't age though. Not anymore -- or, at least, not in this lifetime.
DOB. November 23rd, 1986.
SEXUALITY. I like boys. Mostly. Sometimes, girls. Bonus points if they're Jane Austen.
TIME OF ORIGIN. It's hard to tell. I'm everywhere, and no where, all at once. But, I was born in the 21st Century.
PLACE/PLANET OF ORIGIN. Lancashire, in Blackpool. But, I moved to Chiswick to help out a family friend. Now, I'm from all over -- all over time and space. It's awesome.
OCCUPATION. I was a nanny for a while, and then I became an English Teacher. Now, I'm a time traveler. You know me -- I'm always up for an adventure.
APPEARANCE. I'm toned fair, with a tinge of gingerbread likeness, and have dainty-like facial features. I have bosom-length brown hair and round, chocolate eyes. I'm a bit robust and have a petite, but average build, standing at around 5'1". Boots and belts are usually my best friends, and my clothes vary to this and that depending on what time period I'm in -- but usually, it's something trendy and classy. Short skirts, collared blouses. Long-sleeves, short dresses. Tights. Trusty jackets. You know, the usual.
FACE-CLAIM. I've heard people say I look like Jenna Coleman. What'd you think? Is it the face? The nose? The stunningly attractive figure?
✧ THE DEPTH,
PERSONALITY. At a glance, I'm tactical, clever, curious, and quirky -- with a sharp wit, a quick tongue, observant eyes, and a slight flirtatious teasing that just won't stop. I read a lot, and have always wanted to travel. If you hang around me long enough, you'll also learn that I'm feisty, stubborn, and unwilling to back down from a fight -- not even in something as simply as making the best souffle the world has ever seen. But, these ambitious and perfectionist traits also lend themselves to recklessness and a knack to get myself into more trouble, and, sometimes, even dangerous situations, which I generally realize after the fact of making a bad decision. My travels with the Doctor, along with the fact that I've virtually lived a dozen lifetimes, has made me feel invincible, caused me to become more impulsive, and be confident that we'd always win. It was a habit that would keep growing, like a big chin, until it would ultimately lead to my death.
I've also been called "bossy", and a "control freak", and although it's true, it's not something I like to admit, because, you see, I hide my feelings a lot. My real feelings, I mean. I put on a brave face and expectant eyes, but, really, I'm afraid a lot of the time. Of my own emotions, of expressing them, of losing the people I love, of dying -- and I let it push me to the brink of tears and hysteria when I'm broken, angry, or confused. I've already lost two of the most important people in my life. I know what it feels like to have loved and lost. That's why my care for humanity, for kids, even other innocent, living things, is astounding, selfless, and even succeeds the Doctor at times, despite my apparent egomania. Contrary to popular belief, I can be quite kind, considerate, and compassionate, given the circumstances, and will lie to protect myself and others if necessary. I'm a great leader and a bit of a hero, and honestly pretty awesome once you get to know me. Loyal, too, for the majority of the time. All the traits that make up the perfect companion... or the ultimate Doctor.
But, that doesn't mean I'll let you take advantage of me. I may have lived in several timelines, have over hundred different lives, but I'm still me. I'm unique, independent, keen-fully aware, capable of handling myself, and have the right to tell you off if you put me in a shitty situation or if I feel I have been slighted. Actually, I will not hesitate to put you in your place, let you know when you've gone too far or crossed a line -- this is especially true when it comes to the Doctor. He can be a real jerk sometimes, but I think, sometimes, he just needs someone to remind him who he is.
That's what friends do, right? Help each other. Trust each other. Save each other.
Though, of course, I'd be lying if I said I didn't fancy the Doctor a little more than I'd like. He's become more than a hobby over the course of our adventures -- he's my best friend, and I trust him too much for words. Even though I don't quite let myself realise it, I suppose I love him. But, don't tell him -- it'll only make his head bigger than it already is.
BIOGRAPHY. Once upon a time, on a crisp, autumn day, I blew into this world on a leaf. The most important leaf in human history. A leaf that caused my parents, Ellie and Jack Oswald, to meet, and later, would mark my entrance into the world. When I was a little girl, I grew up to like travel books, science kits, and fairytales. I always dreamed of seeing all the wonders of the world, all the things just sitting out there, waiting for me. I dreamed of what all the stars really looked like up close, and all the wonderful things the world had to offer.
I first met the Doctor when I was about 9, though I barely remember it now. We didn't know each other then, and I didn't know that I was the "friend" he had been looking for until now. I was always losing things back then. My pencil, my backpack, my gran, my mojo -- all of which, I managed to get back eventually. It's just funny to think about now. Whenever I couldn't find what I was looking for, I would go to a quiet place, close my eyes, and then it would come back to me, and I'd find where I had put it. There was this one time that I lost my mum on bank holiday in Blackpool, and it was like one of my worst nightmares come true. I think that's when my fear of losing people started -- and, that, maybe, I was always cursed, destined, to "lose" something.
But, I never lost sight of who I was. Not even through school. Not even, years later, when my mother died on that dreary day on March 5th, 2005. The world lost an angel that day. The most beautiful woman in history. That's when I really started to take hold of the reigns in my life. After mourning my mum, I would have given anything to have her back. I kept her book of 101 Places To See close to my heart, and the ring she always wore around my finger -- swearing that I would live life to the fullest for her. The life she never could... all the potential moments that she could have had.
I went to university that year, despite all the pain and loss and suffering. Anything to push it away, you know? Going to college helped me bury my emotions, to pour my focus into my studies and my future. I refused to change the plans I had already made and break my promise. I spent four years there. Graduated. Got my Bachelor's, and saved enough money to travel like I had always wanted.
But, right when I got out, I got a call from a family friend in Chiswick, who wanted me to nanny for her children. As fate would have it, not long after I arrived, Mrs. Maitland died that very same week. Naturally, I felt like it was my duty to stay, my responsibility to look after Artie and Angie while their dad was away. Because I knew what it felt like to lose a mother. I didn't want them to be alone.
One day bled into the next. I became kind of... stuck there. Then, I decided I was bored and wanted to log onto the internet. However, at the time, I knew absolutely nothing about computers, so I called the helpline that the woman in a shop had given me. A strange man answered, and told me how to access the Wi-Fi. I needed a way to recall the password, so naturally I used the first thing that came to mind -- "run you clever boy and remember" -- for "rycbar123". For whatever reason, it wasn't working, so I clicked on a different connection. The next thing I knew, the man on the phone who was assisting me with the internet was at the Maitland Family door. At first, I thought he was some weird fanatic guy, but I soon realized after he saved me from being downloaded into a data cloud, that he was much more than that. He was somehow my weird, handsome protector, guarding me from the Spoonheads. Together, with my newly acquired technical knowledge, we traveled in his snogbox, forwards into the next day, and then into an airplane after having coffee. We managed to stop the Great Intelligence from trying to trap human minds, and the Doctor freed all the ones he could, including me, after I had been downloaded into the mainframe a second time. And, after all that, The Doctor invited me to come with him -- to see all of time and space. Wanting to keep him on his toes, I told him to come back the next day. He did, and I was so excited that I rushed to meet him at the door.
I would finally get to see, to travel, to cross off the list of places in my book -- my mum's book. Anything. Everything. I could barely believe it! I was so ready. But, when he asked me where I wanted to go, I suddenly wasn't sure. I froze up. Everywhere. All of time and space at my feet. And, I could choose anywhere. Within a moment of thought, though, I quickly blurted out my answer. I wanted my first adventure to be... somewhere awesome.
And, then we flew across the universe in that little blue box. We flew for what felt like forever. I saw tons of things. Saved a little girl from a hungry god. Prevented an ice warrior from starting a war. Learned the Doctor's name, and why he had been so bent on having me with him, then I forgot it. Solved the mystery of a haunted house, and helped Vastra, Jenny, and Strax stop the Crimson Horror -- the last adventure in which the kids found out that I was a time-traveler, and I was blackmailed with convincing the Doctor to take them on a trip. That's where I was delegated as 'leader', and was even proposed to by a little man named "Porridge", who turned out to be an emperor. Of course, I declined -- I couldn't pass up the life I had. It was too good. And, in a small way, I sort of had come to see the Doctor as my own personal boyfriend. Little did I know that, while we were seeing the stars, he had been trying to piece me together like a puzzle that just wouldn't fit.
It wasn't until we got to Trenzalore that I discovered the truth, and why the Doctor had seen me before. It was there that I understood what I was born to do -- save the Doctor. Even if it killed me.
As he lay dying, and his time-stream and other selves were being ripped apart and drastically changed, I was the only one who could help him, to stop worlds from being destroyed, prevent people from not existing, and re-write what the leader of the Intelligence had and was currently doing to the Doctor. Before I jumped in, I told him to run, to run and always remember me. And, the moment I entered the golden threads of energy, I was able to see all the lives the Doctor had lived. All of the Doctor's selves, his other incarnations, and I was able to be there -- as I was split into many different versions of myself, across all of time and space. My only purpose? To save the Doctor. Again and again and again. It never stopped, and it was always different -- I was always a little different. He hardly never heard me, never met me, never saw me. Except for once. And, that's when I knew why I was the impossible girl.
But, suddenly, I felt like I was falling. Falling forever. Then, when it all stopped? When I had finally reached the end, I felt confused. Lost. Scared. More scared than I ever have in my life. But, then I heard the Doctor's voice, and he directed me to his waiting hand. Told me to just focus on him, and on me. He finally found me, and the excursion of being within his time stream knocked me unconscious. But not before I caught a glimpse of one last secret: the man he had been during the Time War.
He was not proud of this man -- this past self of his. But, after having met him, I thought he was very kind, and just as much as the Doctor as any of the others. I also met the Doctor's most previous incarnation, who seemed very charming. Together, we stopped the Zygons, saved Gallifrey, and the Doctor discovered that his homeworld was not gone. Just lost -- hiding in plain sight. With this new revelation and hope in his eyes, he embarked on a new adventure. And, while he looked for his home, I dove into a new adventure of my own, on my own planet -- finally resigning as nanny, and getting a job as an English teacher for Coal Hill School. With so much having happened in the last year and the Maitland family seemingly having no need for me anymore, it seemed like time for a change. It proved to be a very difficult change. But, I tried to embrace it with confidence, to the best of my ability, even if my first few weeks did not go as well as I had initially imagined. I eventually learned how to gain the respect and the assertiveness I had formerly lacked, and became a rather good teacher.
I didn't see the Doctor again until Christmas, when I asked him to be my boyfriend. Or, well, my "fake boyfriend", in the event of Christmas dinner with my gran. A signal spelled danger, and then we were back on Trenzalore. The last place either one of us wanted to be -- before it became a graveyard, in a settlement called "Christmas". It's not long before we found a crack in reality, a crack that held the Timelords, who were trying to escape the pocket universe they had been thrown into. Being placed in the middle of a stalemate and knowing how dangerous it was, the Doctor tricked me and attempted to send me back to Earth, but I wasn't going to go away that easily. I hoped for the best as I grabbed onto the exterior, and arrived 300 years later to an elderly-looking Doctor. That's when he told me he had no more regenerations left. He was on his last legs -- his last life. Then, he tricked me a second time, sending me back home. Again. Thankfully, the head of the Church, Tasha, brought me back to him, into the fray, one last time. But, being unable to stop the Doctor from literally walking towards his death and surrounded by his greatest enemies, I did the only thing I could do from where I was. I prayed, and begged, to the Timelords through the crack to do something, in the hope that, by some miracle, they would save him. The Doctor had done so much, helped so many, saved so many, including me, countless times. This was not how it should end. He deserved to live. A million times, he deserved to live.
That's when the crack closed, and then a new one opened up in the sky. And, out pouring from it was golden energy -- regeneration energy, and it seeped into the Doctor like threads of light ribbon. Suddenly, his face became young again, and he was filled with life. He destroyed the Daleks using the excess energy he had been granted, and, relieved, I followed him into the TARDIS. Believing I had done it. I had actually saved him -- the Timelords had listened.
But, much to my horror, the Doctor, after all that, still regenerated. He changed. Right in front of my eyes. Into a strange, scottish, older man, who, apparently, didn't know how to fly the TARDIS -- which was not a good thing, since we were sort of in the middle of crashing. The TARDIS was thrown into pre-historic times, and we somehow ended up bringing a dinosaur with us to Victorian England. While I was grateful that he had lived, I was confused by his new face, and his new personality. Even though I knew he could regenerate and change his face, it was different when it happened right in front of you. The Doctor wasn't the Doctor anymore. Or, at least, not my Doctor, and there was a lot of shock and confusion that came with that, I think. Suddenly, this man, who I had come to trust with my life, who I'd previously flirted with, was someone totally different. Crude and accusatory, with angry eyebrows and an age-old face.
But, after a couple of adventures and a call from the Doctor I had become used to, I decided to stay with him. There were a few times that he made me very angry, a few times in which I'd thought he had crossed the line and I had made up my mind up to leave and never come back. Not only because he had changed so much, but also because of Danny -- Danny Pink, a handsome soldier-turned-math-teacher who I had come to love, and encouraged me to give the travelling up because he didn't like the Doctor's methods. But, that's the thing with addictions -- they're so hard to let go of, so hard to give up once you actually try. And, that's what my travelling with the Doctor had become... an addiction full of adrenaline and adventure. A rush I just couldn't say no to. And, I couldn't bring myself to tell Danny the truth either, since it could potentially ruin our relationship. So, I told myself that I could hide it from Danny, live a double life, and that everything would be fine. Because, I loved both of them, with all my heart, and couldn't force myself to choose one over the other. But, these things have a habit of catching up to you, and never in the best way.
Right when I'd decided to call and tell Danny everything, to come clean of all the lie, he died in a terrible accident. My heart stopped, then broke into a million pieces, and I didn't believe it until I saw them carry away his body myself. For days, I was distraught. Weeks. I would have given anything to have the maths teacher back. I even went so far as to betray the Doctor, to bribe him, blackmail him, into bringing back my boyfriend -- even if it was all just a dream. And, even though I had still done that, even though I had said and done horrible, inexcusable things, the Doctor still agreed to do that for me. To go to the afterlife, to heaven, just to save Danny, and bring him home.
Though, when we got there -- to the "Afterlife", it wasn't quite what we expected. It turned out to be a big Timelord cyber-network created by Missy, and Danny, my boyfriend, was eventually downloaded into a Cyberman. But, he was beautiful -- the most beautiful cyberman I'd ever seen. And, then he died, a second time, he died heroically, doing his duty.... what he had always done. Protecting the Earth, because he was good enough for me. He loved me. He died saving the world for me. And, at the end of it all, he could have came back, but Danny being Danny, he allowed the little boy he killed so long ago to have a chance at life in his place.
And I... I felt guilty about that for a long time. For lying to him. For causing his death. For losing him. It was another person gone, out of my control. Though, this time, I felt like it had been my fault. I could have -- I should have tried to prevent it. Should have been better to him. I told him I'd look after the boy -- and I did. I kept tabs on him. But, I think, the hardest part was coming to terms with it. That Danny really wasn't coming back.
After that, the Doctor and I said what we had thought were our final goodbyes. We lied to each other because we wanted the other one to be happy, to move on, thinking that everything was right with the world. In reality, we had both lost something precious, and we needed each other more than we realized.
I didn't see the Doctor again until Christmas, quite by mistake, where we ran into Santa Claus and the dream crabs, and discovered that we both hadn't been completely honest with one another. It took us half a dozen dreams to understand that we missed each other, missed having adventures together, and he invited me to the big blue box outside. And, there was no way I was going to pass that up ever again. I had missed it more than the world.
The Doctor and I embarked on a new set of adventures after that -- I practically dove into them. I visited his home planet, and cooperated with Missy. Got stuck in a dalek -- that was terrifying. But, we also saved a girl named Ashildr, who became immortal after the Doctor brought her back to life. We stopped the zygons from taking over the Earth and convinced them to live among us once again. Even almost got eaten by Sandmen.
But, then there was trap street. Rigsy had gotten himself in a jam. A really thick jam, and we had to do a thing -- a very clever thing to get him out of it. He had been tattooed with a chronolock -- a death sentence -- and I developed a very clever plan for him to get rid of it. I had him give it to me, for me to take the countdown, thinking I had it all figured out. The Doctor wouldn't let me die, and Ashildr, who now owned trap street, had guaranteed my safety. She was the one controlling the quantum shade and the chronolock, so she could just take it off, then -- Bam! Problem solved.
However, as it would turn out, it wasn't that simple. Once I took the chronolock, there was no way of getting rid of it. It couldn't be transferred twice, and Ashildr was unable to remove it because it changed her agreement she had made with the quantum shade. I was going to die. My biggest fear, my darkest nightmare, was suddenly a reality. And, there was nothing we could do to stop it.
But, I'd be damned if I was nothing if not brave. I said my good-byes, told the Doctor to never forget me, and within moments, I was standing on trap street, facing the Raven, knowing that I lived a good life. I had no regrets. And, I was dying with dignity, for a good reason, for a friend. Then, that was it. I took my last breath. And, that was the page in the book of Clara Oswald.
Or, at least, that's what's in the records. In the moments before my death, I suddenly heard the Doctor calling me. It was faint, but it was definitely him. I looked to see him reaching out for me, and to also see the Raven who was about to end my days. Confused but trusting him, I followed the light and the Doctor's voice, only to come upon the horrific realization that he had pulled me from a determined time-stream, and that I was now meandering between one heartbeat and the next, mere seconds before my death. He told me that we were on Gallifrey, and he took me to the cloisters, where we had a very deep talk, and I learned how lonely he had really been, how relentless he was without me there. But, like always, he had been determined to save me -- to go to the ends of time, to go to Hell and back, even if it meant defying his own people and going to extents I'd never seen before. His people had made him suffer for a billion years inside his confession dial, all alone, just so they could extrapolate a small tidbit of information, and they deserved what happened next. In the Doctor's eyes, he was owed. And, so we stole a TARDIS, and ran away. Just like the first time I'd ever met him.
Except, there was one small problem. I still didn't have a pulse. Even after travelling away from Gallifrey and to the ends of the universe, I still didn't have a heartbeat. I was an echo of myself, someone who was not alive, yet not dead. Just a ghost, an in-between existence that could only continue without the Doctor. I spied on them -- on Ashildr and the Doctor, who spoke of the Hybrid. Of how I and the Doctor were right for each other in all the wrong ways. Then, it was decided that someone's memory had to be erased, so the Timelords wouldn't find me, so that I could live a normal life, without his influence tarnishing it. So that I could continue on living in this way, because it broke the Doctors' hearts to put me back.
But, it wasn't his decision to make. We were equals, and my memories were mine, and mine alone. If he wanted to erase someone's memories, it was going to be done correctly. Randomly. Without judgement. And, that is exactly what happened.
The Doctor forgot me, but before his memory completely faded, he gave me tips and pointers of how to be the Doctor. Of how to travel the universe. Ashildr and I dropped him off at his own TARDIS, but not before talking to him one last time before going off to travel the universe in my newly acquired TARDIS, where memories can become stories before I have to return to Trap Street.
Maybe, if I'm lucky, one day, my stories will become songs.
OTHER/MEDICAL INFORMATION. I am afraid of heights -- or, at least, I used to be. And, for all intents and purposes, I am still human for the majority of my life, and even though I push myself to some extraordinary limits, it doesn't mean I'm invincible. The stakes are even higher now that I'm between one heartbeat and the next. I can travel all I like, but I have no pulse, so if anything were to happen, if I happen to die in this state, then I'm right back on trap street. Right where it all ended. Eventually, I'll have to return to Gallifrey so that the timelords can put me back in my time-stream and have me die like I was meant to do... but, I've decided to go the long-way round.
She was always running. Running from the next big monster, or a space pirate, or a school trip gone terribly wrong. Running with the Doctor, running for the world. Running from herself... or running the long way round.
But, today, she was running towards something. Towards the most beautiful thing in the universe.
Towards Danny Pink. With his big kind eyes and dimpled smile that could make or break a thousand hearts. With his soft skin and the crisp smell of aftershave. His eyes as deep and loving as they always were. And, his laugh. Oh, she had missed that laugh.
It was times like these that she knew the Doctor would scold her. Tell her that it was almost definitely a bad idea, and that Danny's timeline was fixed, said and done. That he would never allow her to see her love again, if only for a moment, because she would break all the laws of time and do anything imaginable to keep him alive the day before his death.
But now she was here, in the maths teacher's arms. And, she knew the Doctor was right.
She would have done anything to avert his tragic accident. But, she was also a time-traveller now, and couldn't risk tearing the fabric of time and space apart -- or letting the Timelords find her to change one single moment in history. She would not ever be the one to determine who lived, and who died.
For right now, she just wanted this one moment. To cherish. To be held. To be loved.
Afterall, she only existed between one and the next. Couldn't the universe grant her this much?
✧ THE PLAYER,
OOC NAME. dreams
PREFERRED PRONOUNS. she/her
METHOD OF CONTACT. discord -- eclipsedreams#5600 -- or PM, please!